How I wish I could break free

It took me some time to realize.

I have no idea how I ended up in here.

Truly? There are days. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes I’m fine. Others, I feel nothing. Feels like those gray days when there’s a lack of emotions in the air. Just a steady emptiness or a strange tranquility.

Nevertheless, I feel compelled to move. To be honest, I don’t know where to. Only a voice says daily: “Get up, and now move.”

I wish I could understand a bit more about this...life is tricky. A moment we’re ok, a moment we don’t. Damn…time flies so fast, and time seems to be flying by me.

Still, even though I don’t know where to, I want to break free! I need to get rid of these handcuffs, these chains that hold me to the ground. These glasses that prevents me to see. This background noise that prevents me to hear clearly. These fears that freezes me. These voices that are stuck in my mind, day in, day out. Please, let me break free.

Let me break free from opinions and struggles, from lack and scarcity, from miss encourage and doubts, from self-pity and darkness, from cant’s and wont’s, from here.

I just wanna move. I want to know about true love. Don’t want to end up ignorant from it, not knowing that feeling of being blessed, cherished, supported, embraced, abundant.

Shall I pray to God?

Will I ever see Christmas in the New York snow? Will I ever bait in the warm seas of Golden Coast? Will I ever have someone to call part of mine? Will that someone take me to the altar while I cry in my vows? Will I be remembered with joy?

Standing somewhere between the edge, I know someday, I’ll cross that bridge. I’m not sure where that will lead me, but I refuse to stand here in the comfort of my own bedroom, surrounded by the silence of these intriguing walls.

So, can someone please, rescue me from myself?